When we are young, we have an idea in our heads about how our lives are going to go. It reminds me of that game MASH. This game was one of my favorite ways to pass the time with my friends in Middle School. It’s a game that helps you find out whether you’re going to live in a Mansion, Apartment, Shack or House. Other things it will magically tell you is who you’re going to marry, what kind of car you will drive as well as how many kids you’ll have one day. Amazing huh? The best part of this game is, if you don’t like the results after your first try, you can just play again and again until you end up with the life you want. Too bad reality isn’t so easy.
I waited to get married until I was 35 years old. I waited purposefully, for the right man. When we got engaged, I had another picture in my head of what our life together would be like. I had already purchased the dream car I wanted and my dream two-story Condo. Now I was going to marry my best friend and all I could think of that would complete my life was having children with him.
The reason I pictured children in our life was because I was brought up to think that having kids was the next step after marriage. You’re supposed get married, have a few kids and live happily ever after right? I think that it’s more important to embrace the life that you have and do it in the best way possible. This is the way my life actually turned out although there are still many miles to go…
After our wedding, our living circumstances were not desirable. I won’t get into detail except to say, I learned a lot of life lessons over the next few months.
After being married for less than one year, a opportunity for Jonathan to start a new career presented itself. It was a scary time because in order to pursue this opportunity, he would have to move to the other side of the country without me. I stayed behind to continue working at my full-time job. Long story short, this living situation didn’t last long. After 6 months, we decided to move away from Southern California to pursue more opportunities in his field of work and get out of the high living prices/standards there.
Our goal was to be able to spend more time together because we hadn’t done much of that since we got married the previous year. With both of us working full-time, between work, keeping up with daily life and spending time with our 3 families (my parents are both re-married), we barely had time to sleep let alone go on a vacation or spend any quality time together. As newlyweds, it was not ideal. On top of all that, we were constantly broke. We wanted a simple life with less things and more time together.
This goal was realized when we moved to Colorado and started living in an RV. Although it was an adjustment, rent was either cheap or free and we didn’t need to buy a bunch of “stuff” to fill up our house with because our living space was so minimal. We could also move anywhere in the country with little notice.
It felt like we were permanently camping (not in tents) and it was exactly what we had hoped for. I was able to stay at home and be a wife and best friend to him. Sure, I could have found a temporary job and made some extra money but we decided that me staying home and helping him was more important than money.
I was able to do all the laundry, cooking, cleaning and grocery shopping. I took over the bill paying and day-to-day decision-making for our household (with the exception of BIG decisions). This freed up his mind and thoughts, so he could concentrate more productively at work and be an even better employee. All of this resulted in his being promoted quickly and more money for us to live on in the long run.
So yes, I’m a stay at home wife. It’s not the life I pictured for myself. We don’t live in a Mansion, Apartment, Shack or House. I don’t have a corvette, I’m not living in Hollywood and I don’t have any kids. What I do have is my dream husband. We live together in a beautiful place and we have two wonderful dogs who make us laugh, cry and keep us on our toes everyday. I drive a suburban because it’s a big, safe 4WD and I can haul my dogs around in it with room for passengers.
I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be living in an RV, in rural Colorado and be a stay at home wife, but here I am. I’m thankful for all of these blessings and I take my job very seriously.
Just because my path is different, doesn’t mean I’m lost – Unknown